Oh well...so here i am...writting up some things that i am pondering while i ponder on my time-table...argh...this is so hard to plan...cos of the fact that i have to retake my mas 181...so everything seem so squeeze up...oh man...and so cramp up...and very limited number of electives (UE/PE) i can opt for because of the fact that many clash with my time-table for mas 181...especially the matlab...haiz...

Oh well...i think the upcoming years will be the real scary years...everything are so cramp up...have to take like more than 6 modules in order to finish all my modules on time...(and especially i also need to retake both mas 181 and 182)...really regret that i did not work harder...i mean 100 times harder to pass my mas 181 and 182...but well...have to look forward and try even harder now...have to really work hard to pull up the ugly grades that i am having now...haiz...

Thinking back...feel that my life seems boring...everything seems to build only on studies...i think the best time are really during my primary, secondary and poly sch years...whereby i really participate in a lot of things other than my school works...although my secondary and poly school years are not really happy...but i do learn a lot and everyday is a new learning experience for me though most are quite frustrating and sad...

But now...i have fulfill my dreams to be in university...and in a course i am starting to really like a lot...but however...just feel that somehow...life is...boring...i mean...i see some of my friends participating in some activities...clubs...everytime after school...which they can have fun or learn from besides their studies...but for me...everytime after school its just...nothing...i mean...after school...i will just find some place to sleep and thats it...nothing more...and this has been on-going for the past 2 semesters...i mean...after school...i will be in a lonely island somewhere floating...sleeping...and before the last bus...go home...and the next day same routine again...and again...

I have been wondering if there is a possibility that my grades are falling due to not having a balance between "fun" and "work"...i think for me now..."work" weighs much much heavier as compare to "play" on a weighing scale...

Sometime i just can't find the mood to study...i mean...i think i am getting quite "bored" with studying...dun be mistaken...i really really love studying and books...it just that...i am getting bored with the routine after school...sleeping...travelling home...sleeping...and next day travelling to school again...haiz...somehow i think i just have to find one way or another to get myself motivated again...before i really turn into a blockhead...or statue...lols... >.<