♫ Xin ❤
~Xin Xin World~
  


♥☆ Thursday, July 29, 2010 ; 11:51 PM ☆♥
❥{busy but =) =)

Now working night shift..


Ran off a while to buy my dinner...


My dinner for now...one burger + large ice lemon tea + apple pieeee~ lols



Was working in the morning...then went off to sleep for two hours before coming to do night shift (actually helping to cover for people who is not able to do their shift)...


Today pluck a strand of white hair (OH MY TIANZ!)...snap...i think there should be more inside bah...zzz...proof of overly-stressed...overly-exhausted...and most sadly...i am aging...zzzzz...=.=""


Next month will be really another woohoo busy busy month...firstly got work...secondly got outing...and thirdly...i got to rest >.<


Will be swapping my duties with a lot of people...one is to help people cover for their duties...another is to swap because some are going back to their hometown...and some slot is because nobody is helping to do the slot...so have to help out...but then the problem is...my wages exceeded the limit they set (why on earth did they set limit for wages...sot sia!)


So end up its either i am doing free labour...(NO!)...or i will have to help out to find people to cover the empty slots...or to swap and swap until all the slots are occupied...ZZZ...


Alrite! Time to pack up...lols~


Busy~ but =) =)
Xin ♡




♥☆ Wednesday, July 28, 2010 ; 10:11 AM ☆♥
❥{in the future...


Just now walking past nanyang audi with a lot of graduating students going for their convo ceremony...super happy and exciting mood...with smiles...photo-taking...and going around look for places to wear their graduating robe...


Stood there for a very short while to look at them...


And start to imagine the day when i will also be like them...graduated...wearing a robe...of cos with the square square hat...lols...has been my dream to be able to graduate with a degree and to be able to wear a graduation robe with the square hat...lols =X...


But then...it starts to makes me wonder...i have fulfilled my dream to enter uni...to get a degree...whats next? I start to wonder a lot...whats my next goal to look onto...


And what would be my future...what would i be doing after i graduated...very high chances i would not continue to study but take short courses...but then...whats next? Whats my next step...what career should i go for since i am not fond of research field after my summer research experience...and i am not the type to do the routine 9-5 kind of job...so what should i work as? Which area should i go for? Should i go for my favourite field that i studied in the past in poly? Would they still hire me since i am no longer studying in that field? Or should i go for lab-based job? Or should i even continue studying?


So many question marks...BIG BIG question marks...start popping all over my head...


I am starting to get kinda lost...


I have some idea in my of what i can try out for after i graduated...but the problem is whether they will hire me...someone who did not really do very well in uni...


This makes me start to regret a bit on my choice of course...should have gone to an area i am more interested and good in...instead of trying out new things i have not even learn before...and start to regret on not changing my course during the first year when i moght have the chance to...


Now really struggling hard...but i think it will still remain the same until i graduate...would people even look at someone without very good honour degree but just an average degree?


Haiz...really a bit regretting on the wrong choice i made...on not going for a course i specialize in and have foundation on...


But i guess i am that kind who likes to do weird and risky thing beyond my capability bah...thats why always end up wounded...


Haiz...so many question marks unsolved...just hope that i can find tje key to some questions...and to be able to somehow find my goals and motivation that i can look to achieve in the future...
Xin ♡




♥☆ Tuesday, July 27, 2010 ; 11:08 AM ☆♥
❥{sleepy at work...

Super sleepy at work now...


The cold environment...


The super irritating background music which keeps repeating...


And the really nothing to do moment...with the comp in front of me super laggy...can't do anything...


Just feel like taking a nap...


Now blogging to keep myself awake for a few moment before i try to look for something else to keep myself awake...


Next sem de entreprenuership will most probably be taking with a.w and b.r...lols...as usual i guess...but have to be quick finger cos need to drop my thurs lab also to get the fri de...super tough >.<...i guess i am too *toot toot* to join in the "fun" of snatching thursday lab and end up screwing my own time table...zzz...in the end...yar...screw up everything...zzz...so have to pray hard that i can get my modules and electives that i want...and also entre...*pray pray*


And so...yesterday i was *sot sot* blogging on some stuff...so did i call or sms in the end...nope...yar...NOPE!!!


And now to a new topic...lols =X


This week is my last week...to be exact...4 more days to stay in my current 3 month room...emo...haizzz...got chase out again...GRRR!!! And next sem also no hall cos the insane whoever put the cut-off point for hall to be 17! 17!!! WHO THE HECK CAN GET IT SIA!!! UNFAIR!!!! GRRRR!!! REALLY UNFAIR!!!!


Aiyaya...whats with the imaginative shouting...haizzz


Oh well...getting really really really sleepy...think will find some music to listen bah...Hmmm...and tonite might be going back to lab secretly to put my raw nmr onto the desk...


Hmmm...few more hours to go...jiayou jiayou...probably will be doing cross-stitching bah~ >.<



Xin ♡




♥☆ Monday, July 26, 2010 ; 9:02 AM ☆♥
❥{updates~

This post is mainly updates of some stuff i left out or have not updates during the summer...


Firstly...on thursday...which is my report "chionging" nite...i sprained my ankle...while trying to escape from the "monster" office...oh well long story...


Hmmm...not actually sprain la...but somehow my ligament got sprained...now is aching non-stop while i walk...super irritating and painful...


And on the same day...i have terrible flu...used up 12 packets of tissue...one roll of toilet paper from the lab toilet...and asked around for donation of tissues...haiz headache...and also having really bad sore throat...its like two poison attacking me at the same time...hard to breathe...and the pain in my throat is oh my tianzzz...zzzz


But now my flu has recovered...just my ankle and my sore throat still there...yesterday mama checked for me and said that i have a really big ulcer and very reddish surface on the wall near my...erm...the voice de thingy...well dunnoe what is the name of that but...yar...maybe will be going to see doc bah...hmm...or maybe not...hmmm...


oh well...


And yea! once again wanna announce...I AM FREE FROM RESEARCH!!!!! KYAHHHHH!!!! =X FINALLY!!!!!


Lols! But this week...maybe tomorrow...will be going back for one last time to print out all my raw nmr datas and sneak in to put on my desk...cos "monster" need it...so yea lor...haizzz...hopefully it will be my last trip...to monster lab...


Hmmm...


Yesterday...suddenly realised something...


Tuesday...which is tomorrow...27th july...is someone's birthday...suddenly just...hmmm...wonder why i remember it...the person who i most wanted to forget =.=


Wonder if i should call or sms him to say happy birthday...stupid me...i guess maybe not...hmmm...i dunnoe...just see how bah...must maintain my determination to forget and ignore...


The anger is still there...really cannot understand such person...even just being as a friend he is really...haizzz...*shake head*...but thats how he is as a person bah...


***** buzz buzz -deleted- buzz buzz *****


What am i talking about seriously...lols...should be lack of sleep bah...


Okie forgetting those...


Next month will be a tiring and exciting month...firstly going to work...as usual...secondly going to organise outing...to enjoy~ and meet up...thirdly to figure out which entrepenurship day i am going to take....haiz...hopefully can gather up my old hw102a mates together since our surname are very close and we will most probably be picked in the same group...me...A.W...BR...YL...yup yup...thats all...lols~


But then somehow our time table doesn't match...dun wanna be alone leh...since its kinda bored not to know anyone around...hmmm...somehow will be asking them how their time table is like bah...hopefully can get the time i most wanted >.<


Hmmm working now...lols...yar...rite after my nightmarish research i am working...but then life still have to move on bah...just that rite after the nightmare is tiring...but i like my job...so hehe...


But kinda sleepy since i played fiesta last night till...4.30am...boomz~ =.=


Yea...naughty me...>.<...


Oh well back to my work now...lols~
Xin ♡




♥☆ Friday, July 23, 2010 ; 1:02 PM ☆♥
❥{Finally its over!!!!!!!!!!

Finally!!!!!!!!

Its...over...over...over...OVER!!!!!!!


WOOHOOO!!!!


Finally the long and tormenting summer nightmare is over!!!!!! Emailed my report softcopy at 6am, and submitted my hardcopy at 11.40am...and finally as the clock strike 12...boomz! yeah!!! Everything can be dump behind me le! (i hope so...hopefully i can pass~)


Now slacking and resting in lwn while waiting to go to work...later at night will be going back to lab (hopefully is the last time) to pack up my stuff and to put my products in the fridge...


Hmmm...my sore throat is really affecting my ability to think properly now somehow...ouch...


Will update more later tonight~
Xin ♡




♥☆ Thursday, July 15, 2010 ; 12:10 AM ☆♥
❥{ZZZZZZZZZZZ

ZZZZZZZZZZ


Just reached hall from lab...


I guess i broke all the current records in my lab...for staying the latest at night...ZzZzZz...by the time i leave...the whole stretch of labs are dark and quiet...


Haizzz...


Now finish up my "cold" dinner a.k.a supper =.="


Tried going to the vending machine below my hall to get a can of cold drink...but end up...they dun accept coins!!!!! Seriously no yuan fen with venting machines >.<


Actually being alone in lab was quite wonderful cos firstly...i have the whole lab to myself...secondly...i have all the equipments to myself...and thirdly...its nice and quiet...can concentrate better without anybody walking around...lols~


Today is also a really exhausting day...cos need to run back to my hall to charge my phone cos it went dead in the middle of the day =.="""...


Tonight de black sky also really beautiful...went to get my dinner at hall 5 at around 8pm to at the same time get back my phone also...went to take the shuttle bus and saw the beautiful night sky with one really bright star and one tiny shiny star...and the moon was really WAAAA~ too bad my phone was not able to capture the picture of the moon cos too dark =.="" The moon was covered up by...erm...sun? or the earth cover the moon? Oh well not too sure but then the moon was covered up and only left like around less than 1/4 part showing out...so can see the rim of the moon and the "something" that is covering the moon...really really WOWWWW~


Oh rite! Got to go bath now and wash up my 3 days of laundry~ Morning need to wake up at 7.30am >.<


Nite nite everyone~
Xin ♡




♥☆ Tuesday, July 13, 2010 ; 10:28 PM ☆♥
❥{Guess where am i now at this late hour..

Guess where am i now in this late hour...

Answer: Lab =.=""

ZzZzZzZz

Now 10.29pm...still slogging my life in lab...and...everywhere are infested with ants...some trying to climb onto my porridge (dinner) and my bread (supper a.k.a breakfast)...super super YUCK X100!!!


And then the worst thing came...after performing the first part of the reaction for 3 whole hours...realize that my next reaction de reagent used up by dunnoe who =.=""...still remembered the last time i use there are still quite a bit left...now only left with less than 0.5 ml...GRRRRR~ =.=""


So in the end...i wasted the whole night doing my reactions...and end up cannot complete and have to redo again tmr...ZzZzZzZ~ =.=""


And also accidentally poked myself with needle while trying to attach it to a balloon...gosh...another of my finger injured...yesterday also cut my right thumb while trying to break open the deuterated methanol glass bottles...and end up the whole bottle broke instead of part of the bottle broke...and the whole glass just cut through my gloves and thumb...and some methanol also went into my wound...bleeding really non-stop for 10mins eventhough...T_T...but still have to tolerate the stinging pain and the bleeding cos need to rush to nmr room to do my analysis...OUCHHHH~ >.<


I guess i will be having "nerve" problems soon since i am "poisoned" by methanol T_T...haizzz~


Hopefully tmr will be faster bah =.=""...got to go off now...almost everybody in the whole stretch of lab have left >.<
Xin ♡




♥☆ Thursday, July 8, 2010 ; 1:16 AM ☆♥
❥{"stars" war...lols

Later in the afternoon will be having "Stars" War...lols~


Hmm...after deep consideration...finally decided on the day i want for my lab and also the UE and PE i am going to opt for...just pray hard that i can get what i want...and my fingers are fast enough for the war later...


*praying hard*~ >_<


Now need to rush things for lab later...haven't really touch on my report yet...snap...zzz...guess going to aim to finish up the introduction and the procedures part by this week...~


Headache ar~ >_<
Xin ♡




♥☆ Monday, July 5, 2010 ; 4:50 AM ☆♥
❥{说了再见...

Now is 4.50am...


Not able to sleep with my mind having the burden of not knowing what to write for my report...


Now while researching and surfing the net for information...


Listened to jay chou new album on youtube...and particularly 说了再见...this song really...on one side it soothes my depression...but on the other side...it makes me feel like crying...cos triggered a lot of flashbacks about...a lot of things in the past...


I really love jay chou songs X100...whenever i am feeling depressed or upset...hearing his songs just makes me feel better...not that i understand what he is singing...cos in some part can't really hear what he sings...but more of the melody and the lyrics really soothes me...




Well...i guess i will be going to sleep pretty soon...got to wake up before 1pm for the Acer guy to come...yes...my desktop broke down...and its just 3 months old since i bought it from comex...super super irritating...last week...it just go beeeeeepppp...without stopping...can't even see anything on the screen...even when i reformatted it...it just got worst =.=""...grrrr...this is the last ever time i am going to buy this brand le...sianzzz...my 2nd bad encounter with this brand...zzz


Emo~ >_<
Xin ♡




♥☆ Saturday, July 3, 2010 ; 2:19 PM ☆♥
❥{this message might just pull me through...

Just finish eating can A de korean egg wrap fried rice...super nice...didn't realise there is a korean food stall until now...hmmm...but yea...nice...egg with fried rice...thats what i need to stay awake...


Now back to working...while doing my report...


Going through some google images...


And happen to see this message...which really strike me deep in the heart...a really good message...which might be what i need to do...


Will have to try my best and tolerate for 2 more weeks...


Just 2 more weeks...


The title of this message is "Don't Quit"
Xin ♡




♥☆ Friday, July 2, 2010 ; 11:55 PM ☆♥
❥{Tortures...

Is it that nice to torture ppl when they completely have no way out?


Is it that nice to see ppl suffer when they are on the verge of breaking down?


I really wonder why in this world there will be ppl who likes to see others suffer...or likes to torment ppl...


I am really so sick of it now...no matter how hard i try...one thing solved...XXXXXX will stack another to torture me...and even blame me for dragging his time...when i have no clues what he wanted...no matter how much i ask...he will never give me a direct answer...what kind of logic and learning is this...this is completely not "learning"! Its torture!!!!


This is the last time i am going to have anything to do with "organic" or "synthesis"...


All my dreams about working in lab has been totally ruined in this summer...and my summer is really @#$%....i never regretted anything i do cos its for the sake of learning...but somehow i regretted my choice to be doing this...why am i so dumb...to land myself into this nightmare...that my 3 months that i can really rest...i gave it up to nightmare...


Why is my life always full of torture and torments on me no matter where i go...


Many ppl have asked me to be optimistic...but how come...when no matter what i do...where i go...its never bright and happy for me...how to be optimistic...i really wonder how...


Its really exhausting...


Please God...let me just...just...just have a way where i can finally walk with smile and happiness...


Its okie if i were to sacrifice my grade...just hoping for a way where i can go...where i finally can just walk without fearing of sharp needles and big stones...i just wanted my last few yrs of studying to be happy and fulfilling...


Its really tiring...


I am so sick of my life...really...so sick of it...


Until now...never had a chance to enjoy my life totally...why....


WHY!!!!!!
Xin ♡