♫ Xin ❤
~Xin Xin World~
  


♥☆ Wednesday, December 30, 2009 ; 7:12 AM ☆♥
❥{devastating...

Haiz...devastating...haizzz...


Saw my results at 12.30 am...and it was like...indescriblable feeling of wanting to bang my head into the wall...and feel as if i am falling into the bottomless pithole...black...dark...bottomless...haizzz...really wonder why i am so dumb...why can't i even get a proper grade...


Really can't believe i got 2 Ds for both my core modules...i am really hopeless to the extreme...haizzz...really dunnoe what to do...haizzz...


Now is 7 am+ le...didn't sleep the whole nite...should be dun dare to close my eyes cos whenever i shut my eyes i will see my horrible results...really my results can go feed cockroaches le...


Didn't sleep the whole nite...later 10 am have to be at ndc to remove my wisdom tooth stitches and in the afternoon also have to accompany ah log to go to her school to register and also buy her new school attire...i think i will go bonkers today bah without any sleep the whole nite...


And now the Ds kep circulating in my head non-stop...WHY!!!!!!!!! really really devastating...really depressing...haizzz...


Now also listening to a anime song that i watch before the results are released...watched this anime the second time le...really nice to watch...somehow i think at some point of time i am feeling like how the female character feels...






I guess i will go and lay on my bed and close my eyes for a while to rest...


Haizzz...Emooo... T_T
Xin ♡




♥☆ Tuesday, December 29, 2009 ; 7:31 PM ☆♥
❥{stress stress stress

A few more hours to go before the results are released...*sniff*


Just now mama went to bring ah log to see doc cos these few days' de morning keep saying her stomach is feeling uncomfortable...i was guessing cos she doesn't wanna walk...doesn't wanna move...lack of exercise so can't digest her food well bah...hmmm...


These few days also keep been "spam call" by someone i have no contacted for like almost 2 years le...lost contact...was my secondary school senior...really strange lor...its like so long never contact le...at first got sms back also...but then keep calling me to meet up...only both of us =.="" (erm dun think wrongly ar...she is a girl)...but strange lor...its like...keep spamming me to come out and meet her...but i really have no time cos of wisdom tooth thingy and also other thingys to handle also...but she will keep spamming me calls and sms everyday...sometime up to 5 times per day of calls and smses... =.=""


Really scary lor...gosh...always ganna "attacked" =.=""...haizzz...i guess the "come aim me face" always get "attacked" bah... >.<


Just now when mama didn't come home for a long time...got kinda scared and worried...and some bits of loneliness cos its like super quiet suddenly...so call mama by her cellphone...well it seems like the polyclinic got flooded with a lot of people so they have to queue for a long time >.<...


Then me kinda...like little girl wan mama come back de feeling ask mama when she will be back...lols...me ar...really sometime also can't figure myself out also...lols... >.<


Oh man...its 8.42 pm now...a few more hours to release of...ahhhh~~~~


Will it be nightmare or lala land for me? Will i smile or fall into despair? Really super duper stress now...now and then my heart miss a beat every min... =.=""


I guess i will go take a nap now...since i think i will not be able to sleep tonite...haizzz...stress stress stress... T_T


Praying hard for a hope of light...
Xin ♡




♥☆ Monday, December 28, 2009 ; 10:11 PM ☆♥
❥{心晴大动员 really touches my heart...

Just finished bathing after watching 心晴大动员 at 8pm and also went on to eat my dinner...


Today is a super tiring day...accompanied mama to go to see the specialist doc for joints de at ttsh...and wat a long queue and waiting time there...super sleepy...yawning all the time...lols...a lot of people...and one of the nurse at the reception there also look as if wanna kill people de feeling...lols...


Well mama de joints got inflammation...and some of her joints got affected and irreversible le...haiz...didn't know got such specialist doc if not surely would have ask her to see the doc earlier...haiz...


Then after that log log called to say that she was not feeling well and wanna vomit...mama wanna rush home but the doc need her to take some blood sample and also need her to let another big pro pro de doc see her joints conditions...after that when we are going down to get presciption...mama was also worried about a lot of things which i can't really say here...but to cheer her up try talking some stuff and putting in random jokes here and there...and mama started laughing non-stop...=)


Then after that when we reach home its was almost 7 pm le...and super tiring for me by then...and mama went to cook some ginger water for ah log to drink...and for me i went to eat maggi mee...after which 心晴大动员 start to show on the tv...really like this show a lot that i momentarily forgot my sleepiness...


This show make me reflect a lot...about how things we feel are small and easily accessible...could be so far-fetch for some people whose family background are those of not that developed kind de...really makes me treasure things around me more...


This also makes me wanna put one list on my resolution for a new year...i wanna be a volunteer!!! =) 心晴大动员 let me see how some people really needs a helping hand to be able to move forward...I will be going for the next recruitment drive at the welfare club...at least to help out a bit for people who needs a helping hand...


Hmmm...almost 11.30 pm now...my eyes are like heavy rocks le...aahhhh...


And its 24 hours plus more before the release of exam results...oh no oh no oh no...ahhhhh...*echo*... >.<


Reallly really stress...haizzz...hopefully can pass everything including mas 181...i wanna move forward ar... >.<


Lols...i think i will go and sleep now...waaa...what a miracle that i am sleeping early today...lols!!! =X


Yawnz~~~
Xin ♡




♥☆ ; 11:31 AM ☆♥
❥{haiz haiz haiz~

Today didn't sleep the whole day...ahhhh =.=""...now having headache le...


Cos was too anxious over log log de application result for her ite...strange lor...she is the one going but she is sleeping like log =.=""...whereas i couldn't sleep the whole morning =.=""...so woke up to check her application status which is released after 9 am...


Oh my tian...T_T...she didn't managed to get sercurity technology!!!!! AHHH!!!!!! T_T...she got laser tool technology...haizzz...headache ar...absolutely have no idea what that course is about...and most importantly...how to go there? AHHH~~~ How come cannot get into security technology...haizzz...


And then...now also have to mentally prepare myself for 30th Dec which is coming in 2 days time...omg...trying to make myself less shock at my own horrible result...but still tremble whenever i think about it...my mas 181...and my other mods...my gosh...my gpa are really hanging over the edge le...and now just feel like it is not hanging anymore...its falling over the edge...my gosh...*sigh*


Hmmm i think got to go off now...going to bathe and acommpany mama to see doc about her knee problems...


*Sigh* (over my results)...>.<
Xin ♡




♥☆ Sunday, December 27, 2009 ; 9:58 AM ☆♥
❥{time flies...

Waaa...time flies...


Woke up at 11+ pm, and thought its still friday when its already saturday and now sunday le...waa...time really flies...and i have spend all my time sleeping and rotting at home...lols =X


But oh well...hardly have time to really rest at home last sem...really crazy last sem...everyday almost slept for like 3-4 hours...(waaa...its a miracle i can still sleep for few hours)...but well its a good time for me to really relax...watch all the anime i wanted...and also dramas...plus sleep as much as i want...but now my bio-clock a bit haywire liao...lols...yup...back to how it used to be when during holiday...morning become nite...and nite become morning...=.=""


Lols just finished a anime...watched this twice le...but everytime makes me laugh until i fall over my chair...ahahaha...its call lovely complex...some romance but mainly its comedy about a girl who is taller than most boys and a boy who is shorter than most girls...and how they encounter each other and also a lot of funny and hilarious inccident between them...super duper funny...ahahahaha!!!!!! =D


Below is the ending song for the whole anime...super nice and happy song =)





Ahahaa...waa...got to sleep now...lols...time really flies...and i didn't sleep the whole nite again =X...


Sleepy~ >.<
Xin ♡




♥☆ Thursday, December 24, 2009 ; 3:04 PM ☆♥
❥{today is christmas eve...and also mark the end of my wisdom tooth surgery...

Today is christmas eve...


Just returned home from national dental centre...and today also mark my final wisdom tooth surgery...nice!!! =)


This morning was raining super heavily at amk...so took cab to ndc with mama...and while on the cab...mama also kinda chat with the taxi driver on some life thingy...lols...typical adult chit chat...


Then suddenly the cab driver started looking at me through the rear mirror...and said some stuff about my life...cos he said that he know some stuff about fortune telling...and started saying about how my future is...my studies...and yup some other things...about my future...


Well...not to say i believe entirely la...(cos he say i am very smart...but lols...kinda not true leh...i am dumb =.=""...not smart at all...)...but in some parts i can say i believe in it...and he also asked me to watch out on a lot of things also...


Hmmm...strangely yesterday also received smses from my sec senior...whom i have not contacted for 2 years plus...suddenly asked me to go out...erm...she is a girl by the way...lols...but how strange...the way she keep asking...but oh well...i can't...with my swollen face...lols =X


Hmm...speaking of which...today the doctor who performed the surgery is the same short short cute cute doctor that performed my first wisdom tooth surgery...hehe...keep asking him to help me perform the surgery cos he is cute...short short de...ahahahaha...and of cos appealing to eyes...dun wanna open my eyes after the surgery and stare at someone scary =.=""...then later got freak out or something...ahahaha...


But well...today gonna sleep a lot a lot to replenish my energy lost from the surgery...ahahaha...sleep sleep...oink oink >.<


Well...road to recovery!!!! >.<


And also in advance...wish everyone...my family...my frenzies a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a joyful NEW YEAR!!! =) =)


~~~ JINGLE BELL JINGLE BELL JINGLE JINGLE BELL ~~~ =) =)
Xin ♡




♥☆ Wednesday, December 23, 2009 ; 2:14 AM ☆♥
❥{is being forgetful the best thing?

Just now evening went to get my hair cut short...after hesitating for so many days...lols...too lazy to get out of house i guess...lols...finally its shorter...lighter...and yup...maybe might get a hairband to make the hair look nicer...and get a new spec also...yup...lols...


Few nights ago got a slight blackout...hmmm...i guess nothing la...just everything gone black in front of me...cannot see anything...cannot hear anything...just feel as if like i am in a total dark world...have not encounter this situation for many years le since my secondary school when i was having assembly...luckily didn't fall down or anything...well didn't tell anyone also...i guess must be i am too heaty bah...or maybe i slept too much...lols...


Somehow after the slight blackout...some stuff i am starting to forget...while some stuff which i have forgotten over the years just came back to me...its like everything just happen yesterday that kind of feeling...


Somehow at the same time start to recall back a lot of bad memory...which i have forced myself not to think about it...or hidden it deep into my heart...but somehow everything just came back...and at that time...i decided to forget everything...activate my power of forgetfulness...trying to sweep everything unhappy away...even people...that make me sad...


Strangely yesterday nite...someone also msn me...asking me whether i can give him my blog address and also IR websites cos he reformatted his comp...somehow i felt sad...dunnoe why...but at the same time i am also forgetting who he is...maybe its my way of escaping from all the sudden flow of bad memory that keep flowing in non-stop...somehow he was shocked...he tot i am not jia xin...the way i spoke...he tot i am log log...but well...i just can't remember who he is...even though he sounds angry...and he even say friend till now...


But...well...are we really friends in the first place? How come i feel sad whenever i try to recall the past memory i have with him? Do i know him? He said we have known each other for 1 yr and have been lab mate for yr 1 sem 1 for both cbc 111 and 113...but do i really know him? huh? He say he wanted my blog address...but if he is my friend who always visit my blog...how come he dunnoe or forgot...? ...who is he? Is he really someone i know? Have we met before? hmmm...maybe he doesn't even bother bah...thats why i have forgotten everything...


The last connection is through our blog...and now this connection is broken...so is the memory that is slowly depleting due to the multiple holes that has been inflicted on it...many times...


Due to distance...slowly slowly begin to forget...or maybe i am forcing myself to forget...so that i will not get affected so easily...dun really understand why...but still tend to get affected easily...


Eventhough i tried to hide it...but still quite badly sadden about what had happen...all the things that have happened...someone i have known and believed in...eventhough try to laugh it off...tried hard not to know him and treat him as stranger...but in the end...its still impossible for me to brush off the friendship bond that have been built...eventhough i dunnoe whether he even care in the first place...i just know that...its impossible for me to treat someone i have known for 1 year plus as stranger...or to pretend nothing have happened...


Whether our friendship of 1 year plus will still return...dunnoe yet...maybe...maybe not...who knows...although really dun wanna give up on this long friendship...but i guess sometime things doesn't happen the way we wanted though i have tried my best...but in the end still unable to...


"No one knows what's best...or what the future holds..."...i guess its very true for everything in life...though we will always hope for the best in life...


Maybe forgetting is the best way to escape from bad memory...maybe forgetfulness is the best way to keep memory happy...





(one of the song from the anime i have just finished watching...sweet lyrics and melody...)



(from the same anime also...)
Xin ♡




♥☆ Tuesday, December 22, 2009 ; 1:50 AM ☆♥
❥{wanna eat dessert...see christmas decor...>.<

Haizzz...today de dinner i guess dun have liao...cos majority say wanna go eat at can 9...=.=""...oh well...since most of the ISC frenz are still working at ISC...so i guess in sch will be more convenient bah... >.<


At first planned to eat at cityhall...after that changed to amk hub cos there got quite a number of dessert place...yum...then finally majority voted for can 9western food...haizzz...but i am far far away from there le...will only be back around next week or the week after next i guess...haizzz...


A lot of plan in mind...wanna go to zoo...to escape theme park...eat dessert...eat a lot of nice food like carrot cake and prata...but then always either no time to do...or cannot find anyone...


Wanna eat dessert...and see christmas decor... >.<


Boring holiday...boring christmas...haizzz...


I guess just eat and sleep...and watch animes and dramas...


Haizzz...emooo... >.<
Xin ♡




♥☆ Monday, December 21, 2009 ; 10:13 AM ☆♥
❥{not emoing...really...just...wondering...

Almost finishing a anime of 26 episode...left with 6 episode to go...lols


While watching...suddenly tot of something...a conversation over the facebook with Ian yesterday...


I mentioned that...i wanted to be an umbrella...that can shield my family and close friends from the black cloud...from the cold rain...and from the hot sun...i wanted to be that umbrella that they can run to shelter themselves...


I'm not trying to be anyone or anything...its just that...being able to be with them when they are down...and to be able to make them smile...it really makes me feel...as in...to let them know that someone is always there with them...


Ian mention...that when i wanted to be an umbrella...but how about myself...if i also need a shelter...an umbrella...but...hmmm...never really tot of that qns...but after watching the anime...thats why i always like to watch anime...it makes my brain clearer...to do some thinking...just to be the umbrella...just to be with my family and close friends...just being there for them...it really makes me glad...someday i might be able to find my umbrella...but even if i am not able to find it...


"no one knows what's best...or what the future holds..."...to be able to do what i can do now...its the only thing that i can really do...to be able to do what i can do...


Lolss...i guess i am being toot toot a.k.a dumb dumb again...ahahahaha...not emoing... >.<


Ehhh...hmmm...lolsss...going to sleep...ahahahaha...hmmm...while helping Log Log to register for her course...suddenly realise that my results are coming out pretty soon...lols...i guess i will go bonkers on that day bah...but somehow will make it out bah...i guess... >.<


Hopefully i have helped my sis to make the right choices...hopefully my results can still survive...


I guess all i can do now is pray hard...and JiaYou in whatever i am doing bah...


Lols...oink oink...rawr rawr...sleepy...>.<...ahahahaha
Xin ♡




♥☆ Sunday, December 20, 2009 ; 3:46 AM ☆♥
❥{hmmm...work is coming in~ >.<

Work is coming up pretty soon...received email from my v.p on needing to write up a proposal to sao for the openhouse thingy...got to jiayou jiayou le...waaa...headache ar...never really see a proposal before...wonder how to start going about to write it...what is the format and what to include in it...hmmm...haizzz... >.<


Also cracking my brain at the same time over my sis de joint intake exercise thingy...need to help log log choose up to 10 course so that she can input into the system...well i know no need to put until 10 choices...but...in case...yup...


Really tough...cos not a lot of option available for her...and i also dun wan her to end up with dangerous or too straining course...and the dateline is 23th Dec...and speaking of which...i also haven't think of what UE or PE to take also...gosh...dunnoe if the dateline pass already or not...=.=""


In the meantime...while thinking...also listening to super junior and super junior M's songs...super shiok!!! Both are totally different group...but...they are totally...waaa...not only handsome...but also dance super well...oh my gosh...lols...their songs really make people wanna start dancing...lols =X


And well...lols...next week 22nd dec my old workplace de frenz might be organizing some dinner or something outside...hmmm...maybe a good chance for me to take a walk outside...and buy new shoes~ long time no buy shoes liao >.<


And speaking of which...hmmm...wonder whether i should cut my hair short...hmmm...until shoulder length? Or very short? Or should i rebond...perm curly...or dye my hair? Or should i just keep it as it is now...hmmm...headache...wanna change a new hairstyle but dunnoe nice or not...and dunnoe if my current hairstyle is nice or not or should i change or trim it...hmmm...headache ar...very hard to decide... >.<


Hmmm...while scanning through facebook...saw my friend's friend posting her hamster pic...oh gosh...its so cuteeeeee >.<...miss my bun bun...ham ham...miss white and mr grey...miss them so much...haizzz T_T


And suddenly feel like going out also...but no idea where to go...or what to do...i guess no plan for me on christmas also...will be sleeping...eating...watching tv and online drama...and sleeping... >.<


Oh well...lots of thinking to do now for proposal and log log de course...hmmm...


JiaYou JiaYou bah...will find a solution somehow...i guess...lolsss... (>(oo)<)





(Super Junior)






(Super Junior-M)
Xin ♡




♥☆ Saturday, December 19, 2009 ; 6:20 AM ☆♥
❥{Happen to see...

Just now while playing my fav castle age...pressing horn for my mousehunt and looking for monster to assist in killing in castle age...happen to saw "erhem" facebook status...about his blog...so went to pop by to take a look...


Actually still super angry over what happen...really very angry...felt really upset when i believed in someone...but the believe i have in the person got step on...haiz...


But as always...like "too too" (a.k.a dumb dumb)...still have slight worries when he suddenly write in his blog those depressing words...


Haiz...when my close friends are sad or emo...will get worried and just really wanna turn into a "emo bin" and just remove away all their emoness...


Whether or not "erhem" can see this...just wanna say...nobody is perfect...thats what make us human...and that it is what we experience that make us learn and treasure everything and everyone around us...our family and close friends are our life mentor...who will somehow guide us along the way...pull us up when we fall...point out out mistakes...and to stand with us when we are sad...


"Wall-off" from everyone...does not change anything...it just...isolate us from the things that we have to face sooner or later..."wall-off" only makes us escape and learn less...thats what happen and what i have experience for many years...


But just wanna say...to all my close friends...JiaYou...Ganbatte!!! What we learn and experience form part of our life...a part of our life story that make us stronger and mature....


Woosh...lols...suddenly like old lady kind of feeling...lolsss...*stomp*...revert back to emo dragon-pig...rawr!!!! Oink!!!! (>(OO)<)...and its time to sleep....lols!!!...yar...didn't sleep cos was watching coffee prince...korean drama...watch before liao...but still very nice to watch...very sweet and nice show...ahahaha...and watch ar watch ar...morning liao...lols...


Rawr!!! Some stranger guy just killed my character again in castle age!!!! KYAH!!!!! Really have to build up my defence liao...lols...got killed 14 times in total le...ahhhh~~~


Oink!!! Time to sleep...lols >.<
Xin ♡




♥☆ Friday, December 18, 2009 ; 11:30 PM ☆♥
❥{Sis got her result back today...

Finally my 5 mbps is returned to me...to 8 mbps...lols...today singtel de technician came...and solved my broadband prob...its my modem that is giving me the slow slow problem...lols...luckily got a new one to change...ahahaha...so well...anyway pro guy...lols...inspiring me more to go to the route to IT sector when i graduate...lols...hehe...


Today Log log also got back her result...haiz...as predicted...didn't score well for anything...So she was kinda...lost...cos basically couldn't get into any of the "office" related kind of course to ITE that she was thinking of going...


So helped her to look around the available choices...big sis mode power up!...while searching for courses...trying to make her understand the importance of studying also...hopefully she understands...trying super hard all these years to make her really study...but to no avail...basically she hated school...haiz...


Luckily have experience in choosing schools since i have choose all the courses and poly/uni by myself...so adviced Log Log on the available choices...well...up till now...i guess the only best option is to go for security technology (instead of mechanical technology...machine technology...or facility technology)...cos one thing...she is a girl...second...she is not strong enough for machine related kind of course...


She was hesitant...but i adviced her that take this as a choice to focus on one area and study hard...2 years later take the cert and apply again for a course that you really wan...in this way...not only time is not wasted...but along the road a lot of things can be learned...and well...i will also try to help her and read up on books if she encouter any problems...


So yup...after thinking for a day while i went to nap...she also felt that this is the best way out for now...well...life is unpredictable...and we can change it as long as we have to courage and willingness to change...thats what happen to me throughout my study years...hopping around like curious little kiddy...supposedly should have gone to a good JC...hop to poly food tech...supposedly should have been in NUS food science...hop off to chem in NTU...muahahaha...thats what makes my life fun and enriching...to learn different things...although along the way there are alot of obstacles...and hardships...but oh well...hehe >.<


But i guess now is the best option for her...Tomorrow will discuss with Log again and show her the career prospect thingy on the website...


And yup...might be taking some UE about security technology if ntu is offering bah...at least able to help her a bit on the start...=)
Xin ♡




♥☆ Wednesday, December 16, 2009 ; 11:46 PM ☆♥
❥{lols...another long long post...squeeze everything tgt...buahahaha >.<

Lols...another long long post again...lols...kinda squeeze everything...ahahaha...


These few days really is quite a tiring but enriching days...ahahaha...cos...i am attending extra maths lesson by Dr Tan...cool rite!!!! But sad is...she is not teaching mas 182 de tut next sem...super super emo lor...haiz....she super pro in teaching...haiz...but not teaching us anymore...whyyy >.<


Also went to jio Sista Ian to attend the extra maths lesson...shifu Ian...next sem can accompany me go maths lec? hehe...cos if nobody accompany me...i think i will pon all the way... >.<


Lols~~~


Waaaa!!!!!!!!! I just got killed twice by the same guy in castle age!!!!!! Dunnoe who the heck is he...This is soooo irritating!!!!!! Gonna box that guy liao!!!!!!!! RAWR!!!!!!!! WANNA BITE HIM LAAAAA...lolssssss... =X


But maths lesson met new friends also...he is also friend of my other friend Z.W who is now yr 1...ahahaha...and we all from same poly also...super cool...ahahahaha...


Today went to register for my modules also...and oh my tian...a lot of things got taken up...even mps812 entrepreneurship!!!!! This is soooooooo unfairrrrrrrrr...by the time the 1.30 pm people go in...everything got taken up by those in 9.30am liao eventhough we in same study year...this is super unfairrrrrrr...protestttttttttt arrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!


And now...even food chem is cancelled...that means i dun have concentration liao...zzzzzzzz...really limited resource mehhhhhhh...just teaching microorganism nia without lab...so difficult meh...still remember last time in my poly i still have to go for 6 hours lab + tut + lec...zzzzz...super angryyyyy lorrrr...and i can't register for my cbc 214 also cos i failed my mas 182...this is super irritating!!!!!!!! Now currently with mas 182 i only have 14 AU nia...and all the PE and UE i tried...either clash with my mats lab...or the exam date same date or the the day after cbc 211...this is sooo...RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!! My food chem conc...sobzzzz...


EMO!!!!!!!!! >.<


And i also cannot get my monday hw102a slot...which means...i have a super whole day break!!!!! oh my tian...hopefully next sem will not pon any lec because of the ridiculous time-table and super long breaks...


But happy thing is got a fri slots...hmm...so called my back-up plan...taking with my friend Y.L also =) Cool!!!! And taking same lab session also!!!! That means after lesson can makan and mug or do some proforma before going to hw102a since 216 end super early according to my seniorsss...just have to wait for machine to "pui" the results out then chop chop can go liao...lols...cool...at least lab and hw102a with people i know...hehe...during waiting time or breaks can chit-chat...=) Then hw102a can do project together in the same group...ahahaha...at least presentation easier to work with...=)


Lols...


Oh well...few days ago on monday got a quarrel with my mama...also dunnoe what happen...i guess she bad mood bah...so we ended up in a heated quarrel...but the next day we hug hug liao...so still okie la...lols >.<


And my horoscope really is weird lor...super accurate...all the thingy super on the spot...lols...but keep asking me to wear pink...i no more pink clothes liao laaaa...lolssssss >.<


Hmm...also thinking of changing my blogskin or recreate a new blogskin...or maybe add some new things or new column here and there...by end of december bah...hehe...


Also got to start work soon for my openhouse thingy for club de things liao...Sista Ian...when is the openhouse held ar? Lols...forgot to ask u before u log off just now...lols...cos also wanna chiong finish the proposal then i wanna relax a bit before sem starts...another horrible sem is nearing...sianzzz...


Alrite...going to makan maggi liao...my dinner a.k.a supper...lols...then maybe play and watch a bit of movie before sleeping...got to wake up early to go ndc to remove stitches for wisdom tooth and book appointment for second surgery...>.<...a bit paiseh to postpone my breakfast/dinner with A.W...both say wanna eat in sch liao since he got isg training but cos of all these upcoming thingy...sianz...will chop chop confirm eat out one of these few weeks..psps A.W~ >.<


Hmm...going to check my castle age to see if that horrible person is attacking me again... Ian... castle age nice to play rite...ahahaha =X hehe =P


Now got to pray hard that i can get the one and only UE that will not clash with anything...praying hard~~~ >.<
Xin ♡




♥☆ Saturday, December 12, 2009 ; 11:29 AM ☆♥
❥{suddenly just...

While playing bejewelled...suddenly just have a lot of random thoughts flowing out from my mind...


Supposedly i should be sleeping now....but after watching 3 films of horror...feel more awake and then start poking on the bejewelled and castle age...then suddenly just thought of many things...


I guess i always feel like this when it is coming to near january...especially closer to that day for me on jan..


Oh well...


Sometime i really feel that to a certain point i am feeling really childish at times...and really just...not being really kiddish at times...maybe its because...i am lacking all these since i was a kid...after i left my primary school...


Ever since i enter secondary...i was never really happy...and have always had to be brave...to be "adult"...and independent even when i as just like a little kid...no matter where i was...in school or at home...i always tried to be as independent and as "adult" as possible...especially...the bad memory i have in sec and poly...always isolated...lonely...so never really shown anyone my childish side...and to let my mum worried less of me and to be able to put more attention on my sister...never really bothered or make her worry about my studies or whether it is choosing school...poly...or course for my poly...


But in actual...whenever i see people who have friends who they can play with...act childish with...or having elder siblings who they can play or act kiddish with...it always make me wonder why dun i have a elder sibling...why am i always isolated in school...is it because i should never be happy...


Until i enter uni...when i am with my close friends...i start to show my other side somehow...my...less independent...childish...kiddish..."stomping" side of me...when my friends who is older than me...A.W...sometimes pat on my head...to a certain extend it makes me feel...that someone still care...and it really makes me warm in the heart...(of cos not beat my head la...i will punch them...ahahaha...already so short le later more short...lols)...


Sometime i really feel...un-noticable to anyone...even now...the loneliness i have since i left my primary sch never left me...the isolation...being alone at the dark corner...i can never brush it off...even if i try to cover it...it is always there...


Maybe that is why...whenever i have close friends...suddenly just auto they feel like my elder siblings le...and to a certain extend like little sister tend to always wanna find them to play with...(oh man...really childish of me >.<)...


But still...the loneliness...isolation...still...lingering around...


Haiz...


I guess i should be sleeping now...must be the side effect of first session of wisdom tooth extraction...took out two on thursday morning...my heart almost jump out of my mouth when the surgery start...and the doc even have to put extra injection cos i feel pain too easily...but still even like dunnoe how many injection i can still feel pain...but cannot scream...T_T


And now...face swollen...jaws and mouth painful...eating porridge and pandan cakes for days...=.=""


Next surgery will be soon...and will be going alone i guess...since my mum might be busy by then...hopefully my heart dun jump out...scary~ =.=""


Haiz...


Time to sleep...yawnz...didn't sleep the whole nite...nitez~ (-oo-)
Xin ♡




♥☆ Wednesday, December 9, 2009 ; 8:43 PM ☆♥
❥{tmr is my wisdom tooth surgery~ ahhhhh

Tmr morning is my wisdom tooth surgery~ ahhhhhhh~~~


Scary~~~~~ >.<


Painful~~~~~~~~~ >.<


Lols...later going home...haiz...not that i dun like to go home la...but its just...i feel more comfortable in hall...quietness...room all to myself...lols...well of cos not "all" to myself...ahahaha...half still belong to my roomie...lols...


While waiting for the laundry...doing some blogging now...lols...have been waiting for a washing machine for like since this evening...grrr...lols


These two days got really strange dreams...hmm...or nightmare? Not too sure leh...everything seems blur blur as i recall...yesterday i dream of...hmmm...well...dunnoe why i dream of that but dunnoe if it is a sign of what is going to happen next sem...oh man...someone i am not supposed to dream of...but how strange...is it a phenomenon?


Hmmm...


Then this morning dream of a more strange dream...like i travel back to time to those 1980s...where all the building are still old old...then i was...hmm...talking to a old man...my grandfather? or someone...can't remember...then i was sad...and left home...and found myself...talking with a couple...adult around 30+...i call them uncle and auntie...and they took me to somewhere to stay or something...then its a room...small room...then after that they say take good care of myself...and after that can't really remember what really happen next....everything seems blur after that...


What a strange dreams i had these two day~


The dream i had this morning could be because i watched horror at hall last nite...lols...the haunting at connecticut...quite nice...maybe its not a good idea to watch horror at hall afterall...lols...but oh well...pretty shiok to scare myself out after so long...long time never wtach horror le due to ridiculously suffocating time-table this sem...lols...


Oh well..i guess my laundry should be done le...sob....tmr morning going for the wisdom tooth pluck pluck cut cut le....sob...scary scary...T_T...hopefully i dun back out last min and ran away or something...super painful i heard...scary~


Pray hard...that nothing happen...>.<
Xin ♡




♥☆ Tuesday, December 8, 2009 ; 6:27 AM ☆♥
❥{toothache...ouch ouch ouch...

Ouch...having a toothache...and can't fall asleep now...


So went to cook some maggi mee to eat...hungry...>.<...just now eat too early...da bao can A de vegetarian mixed rice to eat...feel like eating the pineapple yellow rice there...quite tasty...but ouch ouch ouch...my toothache just got bad to worst after afternoon...just feel some stingy sensation on the backtooth near my wisdom tooth...oh my tian...are they decaying...gosh...=.=""


Hmm...still can't figure out how to plan my time-table...today whole day after my work do nothing but sleep and watch csi miami and play castle age and cafe world on facebook...lols...slacking my day off...


But sadly next sem A.W will not be having same lab session with me...i super sad lor...nobody to play with or talk talk with during lab breaks or have lunch with after lab...emo >.<...he lor...dun wan to take same session with me cos he wanna take some sports de module at nie or something which falls on the lab session that i am taking...so end up he take another lab session which i can't take due to...zzz...the irritating maths...grrr...


Emo...>.<...next sem will be lonely in my lab session le...i guess my other friends might be taking other session which is not the same as me bah...haiz...then during lab breaks or waiting time no chit chat pal or teasing pal le T_T...since A.W always like to drop by and tease me or come by to chit chat with me and Y.L, my other lab mate...


I wonder next sem who will i be sitting with...hopefully someone funny and nice next to me or around me and i can chit chat with...or eat lunch with perhaps...>.<


Yup these few days will still be staying in my hall to...hmm...slack my days off until my wisdom tooth surgery...oh my tian...counting down...2 more days...super scary...T_T...


Hmm...today also receive an email from my maths lecturer Dr Tan that she will be having some mock lesson next week monday cos wanna do some video or something for maths lesson...so need some students and she will be going through exam qns and some mas 182 topics...really wanna go...but then...my pig face after my wisdom tooth surgery...T_T...


Headache...I wanna go leh...wanna listen to more maths and prepare myself for next sem...lols...but then my face...T_T...haiz... guess maybe i will...do something about it...wear sunglasses? erm...its face hor...not eyes...sunglasses also no use...maybe cover myself with scarf? eeeee...will attract more attention...how~~~~ahhhhhhhhh~~~~~~


Ooooo...my maggi is done...hungry...i guess shall let the river flow and see how my face looks like next week...lols...but most probably should be going bah...


Yum...makan!!!! >.<
Xin ♡




♥☆ Monday, December 7, 2009 ; 3:07 PM ☆♥
❥{moody...but dunnoe why...

Super moody these few days...

I wonder why...

Super moody >.<...

And my wisdom tooth surgery is in 3 days time...my gosh...super stress also =.=""

Now is working again...swap with other people because my duty fall on the day i am having my surgery...so yup...

Stress ar...moody arrrr...>.<

Oh while surfing the webmail...happen to see this letter...hmmm...somehow quite long but meaningful:



To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the tr ain, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident...

To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.



Wow...quite long rite...but very meaningful also...the value of time...the value of people around us...to be able to treasure each and every moment with our family and friends...each moment are precious as we cannot turn back time...so have to treasure every moment that we have...who knows what will happen today or tomorrow...


Hmmm these few days will also stay at my own hall...home very noisy...and super lots of "cannot this cannot that" rule...wanna find some place quiet and peaceful to relax before my surgery...and of cos to enjoy quietness while watching my favourite dramas, animes, movies and my psp games =)


Shall continue my work now...2 more hours then can go back hall nap nap le...oink oink (^oo^)
Xin ♡




♥☆ Sunday, December 6, 2009 ; 7:13 AM ☆♥
❥{long long post~ >.<

Lols...this post is going to be super long...ahahaha...=X


This week is really a long long long week...lols...with all the horrible modules cramp together within 3 days...has been popping by A.W and br de room to mug until 5.30 am...yar i know i am sot...but no choice leh...for inorganic and organic really is out of my limit to be able to mug alone...as in i dunnoe how or what to study about...so went to mug with them and ask them qns...yup...and they also helped me a lot here and there =) Thanks guys~ Jiayou for ur upcoming polymer =)


Fri also went to work in the morning...suddenly having bad flu after i woke up...woosh...flu again...haiz...and after that went to pop by A.W and br hall to get songs and psp games from them...since i am going to stay at home for 1 week due to my upcoming wisdom tooth surgery...oh my tian...one nightmare of exams ending...another nightmare of surgery starting...this is really scary...and the most scary part is i can't eat chocolate and fried food for a week or two...my gosh T_T...


Well stayed in their room for awhile when rain start pouring...so stayed until the rain get smaller...and they are still studying for their polymer while i play A.W psp...long time no touch games le...he got a new game call monster hunter freedom unite or something...seems nice...so got the game from him to play on my psp =)


Well so after that went back hall to do cleaning up...and oh my gosh...my room looks like a tornado just sweep past it...really have no idea how to start packing and cleaning...but in the end still start doing up the cleaning by packing up rubbish papers and rough papers...my lab reports...my old notes...categorizing them and putting them in order...oh my tian...really tough work...and in addition also do wiping...cleaning...


Last but not least after finish wiping my cupboards and table...went to wipe my hall room de celling fan...cos it keep falling off those dust ball when i turn it on...and oh my tian...super...dunnoe how to describe...my gosh...disgusting and dusty =.=""...super black with a lot of balls of dust sticking on it...yuck...but super tough to wipe it also since i am so short and the fan is so high on top...but still manage to clean it somehow by climbing up and down =.=""...tough job...


So after that also went to clean up my bowls and utensils that i did not clean for 2 weeks...and ouch...while cleaning the scissor..cut myself...and it started bleeding non-stop...i guess i cut it quite deep...just can't stop bleeding...so quickly ran up to my hall to find means and ways to stop it from bleeding...(still need my blood for my surgery leh...can't afford to lose too much now...lols>.<)...but in the end...well...somehow stop the bleeding...and badged it up...before continuing to do my cleaning and laundry...until now the cut mark still haven't recover...guess i really accidentally cut it deep...


After a long day...went to sleep at 4 am for like 13 hrs then woke up on sat at around 5pm...my gosh...i really can sleep a lot...really super piggy...oink >.<


Then start to chiong a lot of shows and drama that i miss a lot during the semester...csi...不良笑花...無敵珊寶妹...csi miami...super super chionging...lols...but still cool =) =)...chionging until now...ahahaha >.<


Ahahaha...and also played a lot of castle age...keep clicking non-stop...ahahaha...and quite a number of friends also ganna jio and influenced by me to play...Ian...A.W...B.R...and C.K...ahahahaha...nice rite nice rite the game...muahahaha XD


And well...stayed in the hall for these few days...didn't went home...cos too sleepy and tired le...a lot of people asked me how come i didn't go home...but well...i like it here...my hall =) =)


And these few days also keep eating non-stop...keep eating and eating...all my cookies...snacks...bread...whatever i can get on hand just disappear in a blink into my tummy...gosh...really oink oink piggy me >.<


Hmm...i guess this is it...my long long post...lols...going to finish up one episode or two of 無敵珊寶妹 and 不良笑花 and going to sleep le...i guess will be waking up at around 6pm..odd timing...but yup...going to sleep for 8 hours or more...hehe...XD
Xin ♡




♥☆ Thursday, December 3, 2009 ; 8:27 PM ☆♥
❥{D-day paper over...only have elephant song in my brain =.=""

Finally the last paper...the deadly D-day paper...cbc 213 organic paper...is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


RAWR!!!!!!!!!


Super deadly...super oh my tian cannot make it...haiz...i guess this time the same thing...fail again bah...since i only know how to do one qns out of the whole paper of 5 qns...and somemore the 1 qns is like partially done nia...haiz...gone case again...my fav organic subject...sianz...dunnot how to do synthesis...left it blank...dunnoe how to do radical reaction...also left it blank...20 marks and 20 marks just zoom flew past T_T...


Haiz...gone case paper number XXX T_T


Then today after the paper...oh my tian...brain suddenly just auto mode reformat...everything just go blank...and then suddenly my brain start to circulate this song "elephant...elephant...why is ur nose so long~"...gosh =.=""...then keep circulating non-stop stop until i start mumbling the song >.<...strange...how come this song...ahahaha...i think i gone bonkers le...lols =X


Then after that today went to eat with my food lab mates and also new friends...to the "ah fang" place to eat prata...woosh...didn't realise there is such place...and the prata there are much much much X100 times better than can B and X10 times better than pioneer...lols >.<


Then after that talk abit and went to play at the playground there...lols...super childhood a.k.a tong nian...ahahaha...play de playground...play the exercise thingy for those old people...super nice...then took a lot of pictures also!!! Ahahahaha...of cos me making a lot of weird faces again...ahahaha =X


Well thats the end of this sem...and preparing for the fight for next sem with maths again...Fighting!


Anywayz...next sem de time table is super crappy...especially the entrepreneurship thingy...lec and tut until 8.30 pm...zzz...and 2 days somemore...block all my choices for PE and UE!!!!!!!! RAWR!!!!!!!!! My senior told me last time they took during vacation 1 week nia...now become one sem...sot la...sianz...then that means next sem i am empty from all PE and UE cos everything clashessssssssss...zzzzz...and also my some UE clashes with my maths also...sianz...


ZZZ...headache to plan time-table...


Oh well...these few days going to coop myself in hall to sleep sleep sleep...and do some spring cleaning also...ahahaa...my hall is oh my tian...full of dusts and hairs...and notes laying everywhere =.=""...and the hairs can accumulate to become cat ball le...yuck =.=""...didn't realise i can drop so many hair...scary >.<


And maybe pack my notes up...wipe the places with dettol here and there...and then...sleep!!!!! =D =D My fav!!! teeheeeee =X


But a bit bored leh...lols...nothing to do...


Now also approach another D-day for me...my wisdom tooth surgery...oh my tian...this is way way way way way...~~~ scary...oh my tian...and the worst part is i can't eat my fav food after the surgery for many days...cannot eat chocolate...and worst thing is might have side effect after the surgery such as lose of sense of taste...this is so scary!!!!!!! T_T


Hopefully nothing happens...i need my taste buds for prata and carrot cakes...and also omelette and chocolates and and and~~~ AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!


Alrite...before all these happens...going to enjoy myself to the fullest!!!!!!!!! Snap...just remembered tomorrow i still got to work...oops =X...hmmm..maybe will pop by A.W hall to get some nice songs and games to play...hehe...>.<
Xin ♡




♥☆ Wednesday, December 2, 2009 ; 8:05 PM ☆♥
❥{so many to remember...yet so little time...>.<

12 more hours to organic exam...

So many synthesis...mechanism...reagents...to remember and memorise...yet so little time...

Only gone into oxidation and reduction...haven't gone into others yet...gosh...

JiaYou!!!! T_T

Hopefully can pass...>.<
Xin ♡




♥☆ ; 4:19 PM ☆♥
❥{last paper tomorrow!!!!!!!!! =)

Yeah!!!!!!! Finally last paper to go for tomorrow!!!!!!! Chiong ar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<

Today de food chem quite tricky but still do-able...forgot quite a number of important reaction such as vitamin reaction...haiz...didn't expect the lecturer to be so pro to give vitamin D reaction...so forgot what is the condition and reaction for it...and vitamin C structrue, reaction also kind of forgotten...sianz...headache...other than that i think still okie with a few careless mistakes here and there...and some misunderstanding of the theory...haiz >.<

Hopefully can score well for this paper...hopefully can get an A to pull up my "chui" result...praying hard~~~

Tomorrow is the final boss paper to chop...organic chem...and haiz...still have a lot to cover up and revise...headache...super hard to tune from maths to inorganic to food chem and now organic chem...T_T...my head de circumference really getting bigger le...going to become tweety bird soon~~~ T_T

Tomorrow wanna go out in the evening or night for dinner or supper and walk around...

Wonder who will be free...since most of my friends still mugging for polymer chem...>.<

And a few friends already got plan for these few days....

Haiz...emo...>.<

Anyone wanna go out tomorrow? To walk around and eat nice food???

Anyone anyone???
Xin ♡




♥☆ Tuesday, December 1, 2009 ; 6:43 PM ☆♥
❥{counting on food chem now >.<

Lols writing this blog in spms comp lab...woosh...super quiet in here...nice environment to study...hehe >.<

Hmmm just saw an email regarding my next sem de MPS812 Entrepreneurship...and haiz...now become GER core le...grrr...blocked my space that i can use for other UE or PE...haiz haiz haiz...wonder who will be taking same tutorials with me...going to look for some buddies to take same tut then will have super fun during tut...muahahaha...oops =X

Haiz...now a bit emo...

Over my cbc 212 inorganic paper just now...its like...how to say ar...the lecturer really very...haiz...forget to give us data booklet...forgot to give irreducible table...sianz...lols...but i think i will either just pass or fail this time le bah...cos completely dunnoe how to do the questions...i just let the river flow and write everything i can think of or guess about...haiz...

This sem de result will be another "chui" results for me...sianz...aiya dun care le...haiz...now counting on my food chem to help me up...i dun think organic will be very good for me this time also...haiz...too many reagents and mechanisms to memorise le...hopefully will get a B- at least...but aiming for a A for my food chem...hopefully...praying hard...real hard...>.<

Grrr...just checked my castle age (which i am now super addicted with...lols...)...and someone call "Lawrence" just killed my character...bite that guy la...lols...not that "Lawrence"...i guess is another guy...but i think all of them wanna chop me up bah...sianz...

Speaking of which...just before the exam when i reach there to look for my friends...wondering around...suddenly hear a voice...somewhere "scary" to an extend...lols...suddenly just spoke behind me...with his friends...shock me...lols...yar..."erhem"...(woosh this name is back again =X)...

Didn't say anything...even after exam also didn't say anything and i also didn't look at him...cos just feel very distant from him...as if i am just a stranger and he is also another stranger...and the way he look at me makes me feel more stranger...distant far far away...

Haiz quite sad that things end up in this way...didn't want this to happen but he just make it happen...so i just "let the river flow"...i mean...afterall...i treated him like my very close friend and brother...but does he see it in the same way? I dun think so bah...after all the inccidents...which inflicted holes in me...

Normally during the holidays i will plan and find my good friends out to makan or go walk around...will ask him also although know that he will say he got something on all the time...but just ask...afterall he is also one of my very good friend...but now...just...a feeling of stranger...which to a certain extend quite depressing...but i guess i am the only one feeling this way bah...probably he dun even feel anything since i am so "spare tyre"...

Okie dun wan to talk about it le...lols...just got shock by him before the exam and got attacked by someone with same name as him in castle age...

Two more days to freedom~ >.<

Food chem...organic chem...here i come!!!!!!!!! RAWR!!!! >.<
Xin ♡