Yesterday de blog wrote with a lot of feeling...agitation...confusion...sense of loss...because of dunnoe where to say out my problems...and my blog is the first thing i have been staring at since i went back to hall after a long day of egm...

Got to thank all my friends and also my club de VP for helping me last nite...advicing me...through phone and msn...YL...AW...HF...thanks =)

Okie...some of them advice me not to give up without fighting for something that i want to do or i like...but...after seeing a lot of things around me happen...a lot of conflicts...all got to do with...yar...similar thing like what is happening now...but mine is considered in a smaller scale le...but somehow...that one i manage to somehow overcome it...i believe i can overcome this obstacles too...thats the benefit of being "random" bah...i wanna learn everything...even when i change my major...i also didn't think much...just do my best...afterall...life is so short...if i think so much...i believe i will lose out a lot of chances to try out in different area le...and i believe it is a one-time chance >.<

I believe i should be able to handle the stress...i have to somehow learn to be strong le...although my past experiences do help me a lot to venture into new areas...but because of what i have gone through...i tend to withdraw whenever i see there are fightings...conflicts for power related stuff...its just not my thing that i can handle...but...i still have to wake up...not to run away le...this is the real world...i really have to come out from my "xin xin world" le...

But i know i still have to fight for something that i like or i want...but in the end...after staring at the night sky for a whole midnight...i guess...what my ultimate thing is i wan to learn new things...so somehow...i just have to venture into a area which is not my kind...

I feel that no point fighting so hard...in the end...i might even lost more things that are hard to retrieve...really have to learn to let go...and i am learning...i know some of my friends have mention about not giving up...thanks for the advice...i shouldn't give up...

But...i find no point in fighting anymore as in...lols...if people wants it so much...go ahead and take it bah...if its mine its mine...if its not mine...even if i fight it might not be mine...so what for i fight until holes everywhere...

It doesn't mean i am giving up man...i am not! I am just going to venture into a different area...lols...just like when i got my O'level...eventhough i can go to nanyang JC...i venture into poly...when i graduate from poly...i just randomly venture into a new major and not my old major eventhough i know i should be able to enter NUS...lols...but i am happy here...cos i learn a lot...make a lot of friends...try a lot of things...which i believe is really new experiences for me...

Ahahahaha...i guess i am just a totally hopelessly random person bah...so will need lots of my friends helps to pull me along...so i will not drop somewhere like hello panda on the floor...lols =X

Got to stop stoning this year somehow le...lols...ahahahaha...my resolution is to learn new things this year...so i am gonna do it and fulfil this resolution...need lots of supports and votes from my friends!!!!! =) I will be running fo publicity director for spms club...lols >.<...thanks!!!!!!! =D