♫ Xin ❤
~Xin Xin World~
  


♥☆ Friday, November 6, 2009 ; 8:56 PM ☆♥
❥{In total disappointment...

In total disappointment...really...total...disappointment...

And today is also one of my very worst day...not because of my lab report cos I already handed in before 3 pm...but its because i got back my organic paper...and the nightmare of last sem is back again...really very disappointed...didn't expect i will only get 9 out of 50 for the whole paper...

9 out of 50...i am really a letdown...i have made a commitment that i will do my best for organic chem and told my tutor for last year that i will not fail organic chem again...but it seems like i failed again...the same thing which happens last year...

I am really a letdown...

And at the point when i got my paper...someone called me..."erhem"...

And somehow i got a feeling he would be saying that he cannot make it for the mugging session...but because of last night's phone call...though i dunnoe if he really called to ask about my backache or to call to ask for food chem lab...i believed and trusted him again...that he would keep his promise...

And in the end...when met up with him to get the mechanism...yar...he say he got something on...which just depress me even further...really...just got back my paper...and in the end...the broken promise...

I am not the kind who will really force people...but since promises are made...at least...i dun mind changing time...or day...or place...but just completely sweep it away...as if this promise never existed...its really super depressing...

A mixture of sadness and total disappointment...I really believed in him this time...i tot at least he would just give a call or something...at least...

Today also got a phone call...some really bad things also happened...

Really dunnoe what to say...today was in total moody mode...really paiseh to my lab mates and friends that i might have accidentally become irritated over little things...A.W...Y.L...psps...

And today thanks to A.W and Y.L....who tried to drag me to eat...cos really no mood to eat although didn't eat for the whole day...but went to force myself to eat a pancake...although really feeling really down...super down..

Tot at least...he will be there...at least...as a brother...as a close friend...at least...for the worst day i have...at least...

Tried my best to force myself not to cry...really forced myself...today its really...my organic chem...and the really stressful thing...some personal stuff...although tears are welling in my eyes...but tried to force it not to come out in front of my friends...

I guess those "erhem" phone calls and concerns might just be random...depending on his mood...or whether he feels like it...

But thanks to Ian for your concern and encouragement today...it really helps to know that there is still someone there for me...though we know each other for less than half a year...but thanks for being there...and for mugging and eating dinner with me...at least i know that i am not alone...thank you my very good friend...my listener...

Today "erhem" also smsed me that he is sorry...which he always did after causing these...but does he understand how deep the disappointment he has caused? Especially this time...how deep the disappointment i am feeling?

And i wonder if he still wants his box back...and also the tut sheet that i helped him to collect...if he dun wan...then fine...

I guess i will take a nap for a short while...feel as though the tears are coming back as i think about what happen for the whole day today...really is...haiz...

Hopefully can wake up on time to bath...

Now shall lay down on my pillow...my backache is coming back...waking up later at 12 am...to do some washing and laundry...

Haiz...
Xin ♡