♫ Xin ❤
~Xin Xin World~
  


♥☆ Wednesday, December 23, 2009 ; 2:14 AM ☆♥
❥{is being forgetful the best thing?

Just now evening went to get my hair cut short...after hesitating for so many days...lols...too lazy to get out of house i guess...lols...finally its shorter...lighter...and yup...maybe might get a hairband to make the hair look nicer...and get a new spec also...yup...lols...


Few nights ago got a slight blackout...hmmm...i guess nothing la...just everything gone black in front of me...cannot see anything...cannot hear anything...just feel as if like i am in a total dark world...have not encounter this situation for many years le since my secondary school when i was having assembly...luckily didn't fall down or anything...well didn't tell anyone also...i guess must be i am too heaty bah...or maybe i slept too much...lols...


Somehow after the slight blackout...some stuff i am starting to forget...while some stuff which i have forgotten over the years just came back to me...its like everything just happen yesterday that kind of feeling...


Somehow at the same time start to recall back a lot of bad memory...which i have forced myself not to think about it...or hidden it deep into my heart...but somehow everything just came back...and at that time...i decided to forget everything...activate my power of forgetfulness...trying to sweep everything unhappy away...even people...that make me sad...


Strangely yesterday nite...someone also msn me...asking me whether i can give him my blog address and also IR websites cos he reformatted his comp...somehow i felt sad...dunnoe why...but at the same time i am also forgetting who he is...maybe its my way of escaping from all the sudden flow of bad memory that keep flowing in non-stop...somehow he was shocked...he tot i am not jia xin...the way i spoke...he tot i am log log...but well...i just can't remember who he is...even though he sounds angry...and he even say friend till now...


But...well...are we really friends in the first place? How come i feel sad whenever i try to recall the past memory i have with him? Do i know him? He said we have known each other for 1 yr and have been lab mate for yr 1 sem 1 for both cbc 111 and 113...but do i really know him? huh? He say he wanted my blog address...but if he is my friend who always visit my blog...how come he dunnoe or forgot...? ...who is he? Is he really someone i know? Have we met before? hmmm...maybe he doesn't even bother bah...thats why i have forgotten everything...


The last connection is through our blog...and now this connection is broken...so is the memory that is slowly depleting due to the multiple holes that has been inflicted on it...many times...


Due to distance...slowly slowly begin to forget...or maybe i am forcing myself to forget...so that i will not get affected so easily...dun really understand why...but still tend to get affected easily...


Eventhough i tried to hide it...but still quite badly sadden about what had happen...all the things that have happened...someone i have known and believed in...eventhough try to laugh it off...tried hard not to know him and treat him as stranger...but in the end...its still impossible for me to brush off the friendship bond that have been built...eventhough i dunnoe whether he even care in the first place...i just know that...its impossible for me to treat someone i have known for 1 year plus as stranger...or to pretend nothing have happened...


Whether our friendship of 1 year plus will still return...dunnoe yet...maybe...maybe not...who knows...although really dun wanna give up on this long friendship...but i guess sometime things doesn't happen the way we wanted though i have tried my best...but in the end still unable to...


"No one knows what's best...or what the future holds..."...i guess its very true for everything in life...though we will always hope for the best in life...


Maybe forgetting is the best way to escape from bad memory...maybe forgetfulness is the best way to keep memory happy...





(one of the song from the anime i have just finished watching...sweet lyrics and melody...)



(from the same anime also...)
Xin ♡