♫ Xin ❤
~Xin Xin World~
  


♥☆ Friday, January 8, 2010 ; 11:25 AM ☆♥
❥{feeling really helpless....

Feeling really helpless...really really helpless...


And in extreme state of confusion...have no idea what to do or how to do...


Feeling really lost...feeling really really alone...as if i am drowning in the big sea...with a heavy rock on top of me...isolated from the whole world...nobody notice me...nobody notice that i have been crashed by a rock and is drowning...and really need a helping hand...to just pull me from the big sea...or just being there...


Feeling really dark...feeling really cold...


Eventhough...feeling really down...but i could not show it out...especially to my family or friends...now working at the counter...but i still have to smile to the visitors and the staff eventhough i am really depressed...i can only swollow down the sadness...and put a smile for them...


At the end of the day...in hall...on the bus...everything still seems to have no way out...i am really feeling helpless and hopeless...


My sis has problem with her course now...and she wanted to transfer...but in the process there is some complication involved...


But i am the one who helped her to register...feeling really guilty and responsible for not being able to help her choose her course correctly...i should have go around each schools in choa chu kang, macpherson, bukit batok, baslestier...ang mo kio...simei...yishun...bishan and so on...to look at their courses and trainings before helping her to register...now with the complications involved...really feel guilty and responsible for it...and there might also be possiblity that she will be withdrawn from the course...


I am also going jobless soon...cos of my stupid time-table...with one hour here and there...my supervisor is unable to help me put in a slot for me to work...cos normally its like 4 hours straight in a row due to incoming visitors and staff...so have to be at the counter all the time...but now with the ridiculous time-table...i can no longer work...haizzz...


Now i have roughly know what PE/UE i will be given...and i can't take that PE because of the exam dates...everything are just tightly squeeze together with the core modules...26th of Apr is cbc 211, 27th is mas 182, 28th is that PE, 29th is cbc 216...everything is just tightly packed together which is impossible for me based on what happen last sem...and no UE is given to me...feeling really empty next sem...and now without job...what should i do...


And then just wanna let my steam off...wanted to play facebook games...but then my workplace de comp cannot play games cos no flashplayer being downloaded on the comp...so just went around surfing the facebook...and then saw someone's picture which i dun really wanna see...and his status now...yar that person...and somehow got some sour sour feeling...and somehow increases my level of emoness...already decided to treat him as invisible le...and wanna forget everything le...why still have that sour sour feeling...thats really so me...dumb and...yar really dumb to the extreme...trying to knock myself awake...i dunnoe him...and he dunnoe me...and me is just me...nothing else...thats what i just have to tell myself...i believe i can do this...so long le...things pass le...moving on...no matter what happen...just move on...


Maybe i should try to accept others...maybe...trying to forget everything...me is just me...or i should just stay alone...me is just me...nothing else...even if i see him next sem in hw102a or other lectures...just nothing...he is just someone i dunnoe...someone i dun care...someone i heck care...no need to feel sour over his status now...heck care...dun care...


Gosh...now confirm bonkers le...lols...i guess for the whole month of holiday including the weeks i am having my wisdom tooth surgery i also didn't really rest...cos things are just piling up and keep coming non-stop...


Well...i just do what i can...and just work hard for next sem...


As for the other things...i just let fate come its way...everything just let nature take its course...


Haizzz...
Xin ♡