♫ Xin ❤
~Xin Xin World~
  


♥☆ Saturday, March 6, 2010 ; 1:49 PM ☆♥
❥{just hope that one day when i open my eyes...everything will be different...

Really hope that one day when i open my eyes...everything will be different...


Everything will be happy...everything will be at peace...


Now i am in hall...not able to go home...well...lots of things happen and mama told me to stay in hall to focus on studies...


Now i also have to help make really big decision which will not only affect my life...but really make major changes to everything...and ultimately...it will only lead to unhappiness...


But thinking of this...if everything is sustain like how it is now...it will still lead to unhappiness...so why not just cut it short...


When yesterday over the phone my friend told me about me not being able to make my decision...or to plan out things own my own...but i guess nobody can really understand the circumstances i am now...its not really whether i wanna say or not...its...something that i cannot say...


Sometime just wonder why can't live be peaceful and simple...why always have to make things complicated and affect the peacefulness...is it that hard to just keep everything normal and simple...a lot of whys going on my head everyday...


I have to help make all the scary decision which sometimes really make me wonder...why am i in this world...why do i have to see all these things...why am i always faced with unhappiness...why can't i just be happy for just once without anything happening...why is unhappiness always with me no matter how much i avoid it...or how much i wanna run away from it...thats why i am sick of making decision...i am not certain whether the decision i make is correct or not...i am not certain about anything anymore...


Now i am really worried about my studies...about my modules...whether i will be to pass my modules...will i be able to graduate...cos this is the only thing...that is left now...


Really trying my best to focus...to concentrate...and trying my best to understand things that i dun really understand...and with everything that is happening now...plus quizzes for this coming week and the subsequent weeks...just feel as if...i am going to collapse soon...everything feels really heavy...feels as if...i really cannot handle anymore...


Trying my best to keep standing...trying my best to survive...but how long will it last...


After the end of this sem...everything will change...


My life...everything...will be changed...whether or not i will still be the same me...whether or not i will sink into silence...i dunnoe...but the only thing i hope for...is everything will be at peace after what has to be done has been done...


Just hope that one day when i open my eyes...everything will be different...just hope that one day when i open my eyes...i can really smile from the bottom of my heart...and really enjoy every moment at peace...


This will only be a dream...
Xin ♡