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Wednesday, March 31, 2010 ; 11:30 PM
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❥{time no longer matters in a lifeless life......
Well...just now while studying...suddenly tot of a lot of things.... I feel that time no longer matters in a lifeless life...it really doesn't matter anymore...no longer knows what am i here for...no longer knows what my aim is...what my destiny is...or what i am doing... I am here because i have to be here... Thats why as time passes...i always hope to be able to stay in my dreamland forever...so that i can always be in a place where i can really smile...and really dream of the little wish i wanted...forever sleeping... I am so tired...i am so exhausted... And until now...i have no really smile from deep in my heart...smiling on the outside...laughing on the outside...but the laughters never reach my heart...it never does...and my heart only get lonelier... No matter what i do...how i joke...how i laugh...the real joy and laughters never reach my heart...it has always stayed cold...freezing...lonely...and have been like this for a long long time... Will i be able to find the joy...will i be able to find the happiness...to fill my heart full of exhaustion? Or i can only find my joy in my dreams... Will there be a day...where i can really feel joy and happiness from my heart...and to smile from my heart...i guess that day will never comes...i guess happiness...will never reach me... 
Xin ♡
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