♫ Xin ❤
~Xin Xin World~
  


♥☆ Thursday, April 29, 2010 ; 10:38 PM ☆♥
❥{hmmm finally i realised something...

Just came back from studying outside (of school...need to take bus outside...)


Well...kinda cool to change a environment occasionally to study...and to have new person (although know this person for quite sometime) to study...at least freshen up my brain...


But dunnoe if its a rite move or not...


To study with the ah mouse a.k.a HS...


Firstly...got traumatized (as usual)...shoot (as always)...and even almost cursed with (not too sure whether it is a random remark or really baddd badd)...


Oh well...this is his usual style as always...


This is what happened for the whole day...


After my previous blog...before going to bath...tot of looking at HS de blog...cos these few days the way he look is a bit odd...not the face twisted or anything...lols...just that...a feeling from him that something happened...eventhough he laughed when ppl talk to him...but that laugh is that of the tired tired kind...


So yea...went on to see it after posting my previous blog...and seems like some stuff happened...


Wanted to call him up...but i was thinking later he not in mood to talk or he "cup" my phone or he sleep or he too busy studying...so hesitated until like around 4+ then finally called him up...cos also need to ask about movement stuff...


So after talking for like almost $10 on phone bill...ouch...but oh well...lols...when we chat we can really chat long =.=""...so suddenly impromptu and decide to go out to take a walk and breather...then well...lolx...


The moment i am outside already...got a sms from HS saying wanting to study in national lib....although kinda tired by then after my walk...but he seems emo...kinda worry...so want to accompany him....and i also need something to push me to start on my "engine" to study...so yea...good to take another round of breather outside...since it has been a really...really...really long time i go to shopping malls to see things...


Well after a very short session of study...really short that i didn't even complete half of chapter one...lols...then went off to eat dinner...and then during dinner chat a lot...and kinda understand the real thing that is happening to him...


Hmmm...somehow i can only give advice from what i have seen from real life close experience...and by putting myself in his shoes...thats how i normally care for my close friends bah...to really understand what they are going through by putting myself in their shoes...and to laugh or cry with them...at least they know there will be someone whom they know they can cry with...


And then after that when speaking about his r/s...hmmm...which i kinda avoid speaking names when talking about it...feel strange leh....really strange...not because of i dun like that person or anything...its like...firstly....for me when i dunnoe that person well and somemore my pet has gotten snatch...of cos dun like to mention names la!!!!!! LOLS!!!!! oops...lolssss


Lols...yea...pet = hamster = bun bun...yea...he really looks like my hamster...mouse...thats why until now...no matter what happen...can't really just leave him aside...it really hurts to see a poor mouse alone on the dark street...always wondering and keep thinking nobody is there for him...when in fact a kinda fat de pig is always there...just that he either turn his head around only when he needs...or maybe take that pig as "spare tyre"...which if i mention he would probably turn face again =.=""


But then overall...after he say something about lifestyle being too fast...and everyone around him who have r/s tend to put him aside already...it suddenly prompted me to think a bit...


What i think is...


Basically i still prefer to hang out with people who are single...thats for sure...of cos not because of anything...but because firstly i can dun have to worry about any factor which will cause problems such as another party de misunderstanding...and i tend to get kinda high and fun when i hang out with my closer friends...


And the most important thing is...when they are sad or really down...i can just be really close with them and be with them..or just call them out to have fun or to walk around and eat...well single friends are easy cos firstly dun have to worry too much even if there is misunderstanding...well things will clear its air cos i am not doing anything bad or strange...but if they are in r/s...its harder to to so...as in...ask them out to play...and its harder to "high" to large degree with them since i have to consider what they might think...which is really...haizzz...


Thats why when HS even mention about his 5 years plan...eh...yar...kinda freak me out...waaa...already to that point liao...that kinda puts me off...not that i am angry...just...gosh...my pet mouse is gone le...cannot play with me liao...sad...


When he first mention wanna go genting...at first wanted to say "wa i wanna go too...since i so long never go liao...lets go together la!"...but then...in the end...i didn't say it...not because of anything cos i could have gotten leave if i want...but then...


But then sad la...as in sometime wanna call to talk talk or just u know...talk about xin shi or just ask out to walk walk but then...haizzz...>_<


Anyway about the lifestyle part and many ppl going into r/s...these few times got close encounter...but then somehow in the end didn't really go well...as in...hmm...well not that i dun like or anything...really normal normal la...and actually everything is just okie...easy-going...can talk...and sometime quite humorous and funny also...


Just that...hmmm...what i really look out for is to be able to really understand me...as in...well i am kinda simple to understand...but to really understand my fully i think still another case liao...like some example of HS which is really similar to mine...(except the dine in restaurant portion...lols)...when going out...not necessary have to really go buy things or wat...like to just go out and walk...see see whats new...or just go outside to walk to take breather...maybe those natural parks or whatever...but most ppl if go out will buy things...and have to really buy...or do things like watch movie (eventhough the movie is not nice...)...but if its nice i dun mind la...and then also want to look out for someone who i can really chat to the max kind...not like keep talking la...its like...when start talking can be really hyper and start all sorts of fun and joking...and that person must be really neat and clean...which is really important...and must be funny...can make me laugh or joke...


LOLS waaa...difficult to look rite! LOLS...thats why at a certain point quite depressed...mama also always scold me for thinking too much....as in...not focusing on books...but then...when i told her (quite many times until she finally understand what i am talking about)...one thing she say really is really true which clear lots of my depression about such issue...


Today didn't really say...cos...well...hard to express and couldn't say it...its like...erm...the most important thing is to be the real self...and not something being "made" or "tried to accommodate" so as to make things last longer...but in the end...when really together...or the bads and the real self appear...and this will only cause regrets and sadness...even if it last...it will just be an empty shell which neither can be thrown away nor can it be rewind...


Sometime looking at things longer...not really have to be together...just friends...sometime will auto just clap even without any external action...because being friends can know each other longer...understand each other...and friends would normally show their true self to each other (instead of if its couple cos well...its usual to want to be more good in front of someone u like)...and its sometime more fun to be friends and slowly become closer...thats why some couples will have 6 years r/s...not because they are together but some might just be friends for 3 years...


Hmmm...sleepy...~ Feel like dozing off...but my laundry still washing...hmm...i think i will continue later bah...buahaha
Xin ♡